the pregnant pause

fraught with meaning...right?

i read the greatest post today over on So Every Day where she talks about the Shema:

Hear O Israel. The Lord is your God. The Lord alone. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your might . And love your neighbor as yourself.

did i mention i heart you, keigley family? you inspire me.

it put me right at the core of where i'm at in my own life right now and how i've been concentrating, really, realllllly hard on loving and being the bigger person. especially when "i don't wanna".

there's a coworker of mine. ooooh, that girl. she can make my blood boil. but despite what they tell you about revenge, turns out the smallest change of attitude on MY part goes a loooong way.

and there's the little neighbor girl. i've had the hardest time lately, being graceful under fire, so to speak. thats a blog for another day, but lets just say i'm praying daily to be that good example....while i'm tackling that learning curve.

Despite all my angst and inner/outer yearning for a church home after we'd made the difficult decision to leave ours several months ago, God moved us in to just the right spot in His own unique way. i didn't see that coming. but i'm oh-so-grateful.

there are changes and challenges and new people and circumstances in my life right now. and its good. change is good.

i watched Eat Pray Love. excellent words to live by and some really good life lessons along the way, tho not nearly the sheer awesome wonder i'd anticipated. still...good.

we had a really nice, low-key thanksgiving. quiet. i made 2 seperate meals ~ one for work and the other for jasons' family. after work and being up for 48 hours straight, i was exhausted when it was all said and done but in the aftermath, i slept better than i have in a long time.

a good friend is pregnant. i can't lie. i've been a smidge jealous and apparently having sympathy cravings. i took a pregnancy test just to be sure. but nope, the result came back: "you've settled into fatness. welcome to winter."

coincidentally, the treadmill and i are still loathesome lovers.

i stopped in to see an old friend yesterday. a dear friend. its something i've meant to do for a long while. but there's always excuses. i bumped into a family member a week ago at walmart. i had a car full of tweens, eager to grab snacks for their slumber party as she and i stood in the parking lot, awkwardly tried to converse. she finally blurted out she was sorry she hadn't been by to see jasons dad. that she expects any day to get *that phone call*. but "life gets busy".

we went our seperate ways, me sorting thru my frustration, yet realizing thats what we all say, isn't it? life gets busy.

what really happens, is that WE get in the way.

so i got out of my way yesterday. i messaged my friend and made arrangements and i made up a goodie bag with a long overdue housewarming gift. she loved it. and we sat and caught up over coffee and fresh sourdough bread and 2 pet rats.

awesome.

tomorrow is december. and i've never been more excited to embark on a new month.