cheeky monkey

i had a dream last night that i & jason castro from AI were an item. this probably stems from lack of sex, lately, and my announcement tuesday night that i thought he was all that and a bag of chips. i had also asked jason if he would mind, terribly, if i used castro as my choice for a "backup plan".

anyway.

in the dream, we hadn't even made it to 2nd base and all of a sudden that floozy brittney spears runs off with him to vegas and next thing you know, they're married. and then he's feeling guilty, all the while making smoochy face with her all over the magazines. then AI wants us to sing a duet together because, wouldn't you know it, we're the best thing since sliced bread, and i'm all, "no way, he sucks." and he's begging me to sing just one more time and i'm all, "hell to the no, and filth and foul and such".

and then i woke up.

its dissapointing, really, when your erotica gets interrupted by morals.

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so christy was brave enough to tag along yesterday, in the never-ending nightmare, complete with The Number Nazi, that is the car-pool lane at bella's school. remind me to share that story one day. as per usual, after she'd plopped down in her seat, bella began to list her indiscretions of the day.

i always liken this to a train wreck. you know you're gonna hit, and hard, but something deep within compels you to speed up at the last minute anyway and just keep going. most kids would rather you pry it out of them. not so, mine. i guess she inherited my projectile personality, poor creature. she figures she may as well get it all out there on the table at once and let you sort thru the carnage. maybe she holds out hope that i'll miss something in the process....

yesterday, she received a red slip in lieu of the "thinking trail of doom" as the kids say. the school invented this little beauty a few years back, in effort to avoid the traditional punishment for bad behavior: sitting it out on the playground bench or better yet, being banished to your dungeon/classroom. instead, they can now walk the Thinking Trail, to think about their behavior and run off some steam.

i sighed and asked her what the red slip was for:

"not zipping my lip. and i know what you're gonna say, mama. but spencer told a funny joke and i couldn't help but laugh. you said we have to be nice to everyone so what was i gonna do, be a discrimination?"

i stifled a laugh, thinking abomination would have been more appropriate, but i give her props for the effort.

"bella, bella, bella" i began, "there is a time and a place. you could tell spencer later that his joke was funny. sitting there disrupting your entire classroom just because you don't want to *hurt someones's feelings*, is not ok. and blaming someone else for your kindness is not exactly what i meant when we talked about discrimination."

christy interjected: "you could be kind, quietly."

bella sighed and nodded, "i know." then she added, "do grownups get together and rehearse?"