jason arrived home from the scrap-yard tonite, pulled off his boots and then desecrated my bed with the clean sheets by plopping his filth and foul right down on top of it.
"reckon i should take a shower?"
"why no. i'm sure there's a dryer sheet hiding in one of the pillowcases. you could just roll around in peach blossom scent. "
so we fill in the cliff notes versions of our days while he still lays there and my eyeball uncontrollably twitches. he then declares he "has an announcement". and would i "like the good news or the bad news first."
i have never liked these particular words coming out of his mouth. we've been down that road far too many times. usually its followed by the announcement that we're back down to one income or he's brought a boat home.
but because i am nothing if not a glutton for punishment, i close my eyes and whisper, "the bad".
"ok. here goes. the bad news is, you're probably stuck with me for the rest of your life."
i pry open one squinty eye as he continues, "the good news is, i've decided to quit smoking. and no, not that 'i'm gonna try to quit smoking' or 'i'll give it another whirl', crap. i'm officially quitting. cold turkey. as of noon today, i've smoked my last one."
i now turned to stare at him, long and hard. finally i nodded. "thus, the bad news?"
"aaaaaand how" he rolled over and gave me the twin borat thumbs-up. "so i personally would like to take this fleeting opportunity to thank you, in advance, for putting up with the apocalypse that is undoubtedly now upon us. "
***********************
still. its better than a boat.
maybe.
1 comment:
Good luck to both of you!
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