100 posts a blur

i always tell myself that this year, the holidays will be different. no frantic antics. no losing control or even a hint of my precious sanity. that i will float gracefully with ease into the sunset of christmas eve.

snort.

here i sit. my house is chaos. there are so many things to do and not nearly the time, the energy, the oomph. things to plan! things to do! things to be finished! my devotions have fallen by the way-side. i can't keep up with blogs or emails. photos need to be developed; christmas cards sent. i have a stack of snowmen waiting to be stuffed. laundry is threatening to overflow into the kitchen. i have yet to hem my jeans and i haven't practiced bella's lines for the christmas play with her nearly enough. cans for the food-drive need to go to the library. a toy to the church for the giving depot. jasons' car is in the shop with a yet-to-be-decided price tag on repairs, and he'd borrowed his dads truck for the time-being, which is now in the shop itself, after a lovely law-abiding citizen decided to throw a cinder block thru the window to steal some tools.

and still, there is that pregnant pause, waiting for just that right moment to pee on the stick.

with each passing day, i do this mental checklist and i find that i am far from basking in the peace and joy of the season.

reminding myself to breathe is helpful. as is remembering to take a moment to be still. and be thankful for Gods blessings in all of this. if i've not got back to you or i'm a little quiet these days, i'm sorry. but i still love you all. and i hope you're remembering to snatch those quiet moments when you can.