the blahs

last week i was PHENOMENAL. i met my calories every day. i walked 5 days out of 7 for a total of 15 miles. i hit the exercise bike and my situp quota every nite i worked. i was on FIRE, mama.

but THIS is not that week....

my big strong husband who's NEVER sick, came down with an upper respiratory and sinus infection by sunday and missed 2 days of work. and because he's a giver, oh so graciously shared his crud with me. :( my nose feels like a bright red 10 pound beacon on the front of my face. and my sinuses....ohhhh my sssssinusssessss.

THIS week, i've gone over my calories every single day, which is especially disheartening, realizing that i've ONLY been able to maintain my calories in/out BECAUSE of the exercise i've been working so hard at. instead of water, all i've wanted is soda. and instead of good, healthy food, all i've craved is comfort food.

THIS week i've not exercised ONCE.

whereas i normally can't sleep during my work week, (example: last week i slept 3 hours between mon & fri) THIS week i've done nothing BUT sleep.

i can't breathe. even with all the XTRA sleep, i just can't get rested enough. and i feel like a big fat TOAD. destined to always BE that big fat toad. and not even a CUTE big fat toad.

to make matters worse, jason's truck for the 3rd time in as many weeks, is on the fritz and it would appear that my car is trying to do the same thing. all of a sudden, i'm totally submerged in deep dark oogly googly thoughts, and worry and doubt. where's the money gonna come from. will we EVER be in a place where these financial hiccups are not so scary. all of a sudden, i miss my family back in nebraska like WHOA. with a big family wedding this weekend that i yet again will be unable to attend, it hits right where it hurts.

so i'm having a hard time focusing on the positive this week. being thankful for my blessings. praising instead of complaining.

so Lord, i love You, even and especially when i don't show it like i should. please forgive me on the days my faith isn't even as big as a mustard seed. and when this too shall pass, help me to get back up again.

<3